Death.

Today, my grandma passed away. I sent her to the hospital in the morning, but received a call in the afternoon that the doctors were attempting to rescue her. So... I didn't even get to send her off. I knew this day was going to come, I thought I was mentally prepared to face this, but when I saw her expressionless face lying in the hospital bed, I couldn't take it. She's gone forever. I should be happy that she's in a peaceful place, happy and stress-free, but she's been a lovely family member to me. Even in her last of breaths, she couldn't stop reminding us about taking care of one another and fretting over our meals.
I held her face in my palms and realized that I've never been this close to her when she was alive. I would only massage her legs and help in her movements, but I never actually sat down and looked at her.
Death changes people.
If you're reading this, please cherish your grand parents. I have none now, so if you do, they are a blessing.

I decided not to go for my dance exam since all signs pointed me to that direction. I feel like shit, with my throbbing headache, sore throat and runny nose. I don't even wanna move my legs, and I definitely don't want to miss my grandma's funeral.
I had a revelation that I dance not because of gaining a certificate, I dance simply because it's my passion. So I don't care that much for a mark, especially within all this chaos now lol.

I'm feeling okay.... I've gone through my grand father's death, so I can go through this as well.